she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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