I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
