about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
