i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
