its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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