I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Randomize
