You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize