at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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