Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
