My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
