Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
