I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Randomize
