He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
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