She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
