So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
My brain says no but my pants say off.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
My balls are so social today.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize