Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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