So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
