He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
