my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
