My nipple is on Facebook.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
