Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
