i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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