When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
