I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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