His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
