I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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