omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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