btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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