Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
