discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
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