im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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