thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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