I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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