How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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