i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
