Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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