Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
