so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
