I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
