and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
