So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
nutella sex= disaster
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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