we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
