Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I could fuck to npr.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
