Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize