I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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