you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize