Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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