Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
