this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
