can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
