4 words: hood of his car
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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