I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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