I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
