well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
