i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize