things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
