Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
