id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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