guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
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