I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize