im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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