A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize
