Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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