If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
