Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
