this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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