when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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