In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
