Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
