You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
