the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
