I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
My cat gives me a boner
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
