so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
