Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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