Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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