If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
