Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
