WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
