i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
